In an earlier post I wrote that I would never again have an Android device.  That was a bit premature it turns out, as in a fit of (temporary, I hope) madness I thought to myself, “Maybe it was the older version of Android that was the problem, and that Google had improved it.”  The Google Nexus 7 I had literally thrown against the wall in a fit of pique was incapable of running newer versions of the Android OS.

I came across a cheap Chinese “phablet” on Amazon running Android 7.0 (nougat) and so I bought it.  Made by an unfamiliar company called Irulu, it was the same size and form factor as the Nexus 7.  It was named the eXpro (no, it’s not your browser, the site’s page appears to be completely munged).

Not a phone, eXpro is capable of accepting a SIM card and becoming one. I pity anyone who does so, though.

For starters, the eXpro is very bad at holding wi-fi connections.  Sometimes a reboot is necessary when traveling from one physical location to another.

But the worst part is Android.

On my Nexus 7, which I completely scrubbed and factory reset, apps have an annoying habit of just quitting in mid-use.  Annoying, for sure.

On the Irulu, there is a piece of malware that defies removal. It is called QuickTouch and is installed as “system software,” which means the typical anti-virus/crap cleaners fail to remove it; some even fail to recognize it as the intrusive infection it is.  Searching Google results in only user complaints about it, with the solution being – wait for it – a factory reset.

There is a QuickTouch on the Google Play store that gets high marks.  I can’t tell if it’s the same program or not, but the version on my eXpro installs software without my asking, shows notifications for programs I don’t want, and now having disabled (since I can’t remove) every one of its features I can, starts throwing messages about programs not responding that I never activated.

I could go on, but I won’t.  If QuickTouch is pre-installed by Google/Android and can’t be removed, then shame on Google for including such a piece of noxious trash in their OS.  It’s bad enough that apps spy on us every minute of our lives, but when they take over our devices, I draw the line.

(I still harbor the dark feeling of satisfaction I might derive by destroying these devices by shattering them with a few well-placed shots from a .45 caliber weapon).